Sharon's Example
|
|
|
Several weeks ago, I was shopping at a thrift store. This was a couple days after I had reached my "goal weight" and been taken off a weight gain program. I was so excited at the opportunity to get new clothes, however when I began trying on jeans and things, I realized that I had grown in sizes. I suppose that that was the purpose of the weight gain program and after all a girl that's 5'7" shouldn't be a size one, but for an anorexic like myself the reality of a larger body was shocking--and I began to work myself up. My symptoms were heart palpitations, air hunger, dizziness, perspiration and racing thoughts. The thoughts were, "I'm so huge, I'm a cow, no man will ever be attracted to me, my thighs are each the size of the Goodyear blimp ! I can't handle this program any longer, I can't deal with this body size! I need to run away or kill myself." After being in these symptoms for a day or two I began to spot. I spotted angry temper toward the treatment center where I resided. I spotted fearful temper towards myself. I spotted imagination on fire with the racing thoughts. I spotted fear for my social personality. I spotted that my feelings were not facts--that being in a fit over body image was distressing, but not dangerous. I spotted that "to spot, is to know that I don't know", in other words, I had no idea what others were thinking of me or if they even agreed with my lowered feelings concerning my body. Before my Recovery, Inc. training I would have immediately begun to compulsively exercise. Going into endless racing thoughts, purging, starving, shying away from functions where I would be seen by anyone. Further Spotting! Betsy-- Sharon gave a good description of her temperamental reaction and also of her symptoms. She was average to have them, but it was wonderful the way she then spotted her imagination being on fire. Donna-- I liked her realization that she couldn't know what others were thinking about her. Susan-- I spot temperamental lingo-- "thighs the size of Goodyear blimps"?! But that's the imagination when it's on fire. What does that mean? spot-- In Sharon's example, she started to recognize (spot) her thoughts as a form of sabotage to her mental health and started to change them according to what she has learned in Recovery, Inc. angry temper-- Angry temper appears in different ways, such as resentment, indignation, disgust, etc. In Recovery, Inc., we talk about temper resulting from the judgment of right and wrong in the trivialities of everyday life events. There is no right or wrong, only differences in opinion and style. fearful temper-- This form of temper is a result of the judgment that I am wrong and may appear as self-disgust, self-hatred, embarrassment, worry, etc. Again, in the trivialities of everyday life, there is no right or wrong. temperamental lingo-- This is a Recovery expression for the language we use in speech or thought that reinforces the idea of temper (fearful or angry). For example, Sharon says "the size of Goodyear blimps" in describing her thighs which is a way of feeding her sense of shame, worry, etc.
|
|
