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Sally's Example
Eating Disorder

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Wednesday night at 8 p.m. I was at the gym working out with my boyfriend. I noticed a girl lifting a lot of weight. I mentioned to my boyfriend to look at all the weight she was lifting. He said, "You will be able to lift that much and look like her". This is when I began to work myself up.

I had racing thoughts, "I need to not eat tomorrow. I need to work out harder. Look how fat I am. She's all muscle. I'll never look like that. I'm not good enough. My boyfriend wants me to look like that".

I spotted fearful temper with myself and angry temper at my boyfriend. I decided to take the secure thought that he loves me for who I am. People do things that annoy me, not to annoy me. I wanted to be exceptional and feared I was not average. This is distressing, but not dangerous. I dropped the temper towards my boyfriend and excused him, rather than accusing him. I did this for my own mental health.

Before Recovery, I would have gone into a spiral of insecure thoughts which would have lasted for days. I would have punished my boyfriend for his comment by being short and silent. I would have gone on a diet immediately which would have led to a binge. I also would have begun to over-exercise.

Further Spotting!

Ann-- Sally should endorse herself for all of her effort.

Sara-- She said she dropped the temper towards her boyfriend by excusing him rather than accusing him and she did this for her own mental health. I think this shows that she is making a business out of getting well and not playing any more games with her mental health.

What does that mean?

angry temper-- is the judgment that someone else is wrong. In this example, Sally was judging her boyfriend as somehow being wrong for what he said.

temper-- When Sally says she dropped her temper, she is saying that she is dropping the judgment of right and wrong in this example.