Ruth's Example
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The other day I took a bus to a nearby town to apply for a job as a waitress. As I settled into my seat, the thought came to me, "What if my fear of dirt and germs comes back? I'm even afraid to open the door to the restaurant". I began to feel very tense. My heart started to pound and my thoughts were racing, "I'm not ready for this. I might as well turn around and go home. How can I work in a place where I'll be touching dishes used by other people?". I had tenseness mostly and started to feel a little warm. Then I started to spot that these thoughts were distressing, but not dangerous. I remembered that if my fear came back, I could command my muscles to open the door. That I could have the will to bear the discomfort. I've been through such scary times and I know that even in a panic, I can still perform. I need this job and I can trust my basic functions to carry me through. I can do it in part-acts. Before Recovery, I wouldn't ride on a bus. I would have blamed myself and would have cried a lot. I felt everything was contaminated. There was no way I would consider working anywhere let alone a restaurant. Even in my own home, I used Kleenex to touch door knobs. My husband had to disrobe when he came home from work so I could wash and disinfect his clothes. It's taken me a long time to get to the place I am now, and I'm very grateful for my training in Recovery, Inc. By the way, I got the job and I really endorsed myself though, even if I hadn't landed the job, I knew I had come a long way! Further Spotting! Betty-- Ruth's example shows she has had a lot of past practice. Even though she had these fearful thoughts she knows her Recovery, Inc. method well enough that she can go ahead and have the will to bear the discomfort and take things in part-acts. John-- What a difference between now and before Recovery! I like the way Ruth endorses herself, but acknowledges that even if she didn't get the job she can give herself credit for all the effort she has put into getting better. It reminds me that we endorse for effort and not necessarily for success. Ann-- The only thing we have control over is our thoughts (once we have them) and our impulses (muscles). Ruth knows this now and can work on that and not work herself up over her outer environment, which she can't control anyway. What does that mean? spot-- In Recovery, Inc., spotting is one of the basic techniques that we use. It is a way of noticing things, or spotlighting something such as Ruth did with her thoughts and her symptoms. part-acts-- Doing things "one step at a time".
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