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Last night I was out having coffee with some friends when I saw a couple I hadn't seen since I broke. I knew they knew about my mental illness. This is when I began to work myself up.
I felt very self-conscious and flustered. I wanted to excuse myself and go to the bathroom until they left. I got scared and didn't know what to do. I guess I realized that it was the stigma of mental illness that I was experiencing and suddenly it came to me that I could practice Recovery.
I spotted that I could have the will to bear the discomfort of my thought and feelings. They are distressing, but not dangerous. I remembered to endorse myself for just sitting there and I did not have to be ashamed. I think Dr. Low talks about how no one is responsible for the ailment he suffers. The couple was my outer environment.
Before Recovery I probably would have panicked and jumped up and left the restaurant. I would have blamed myself and would have worked myself up, making myself more and more tense. I had more stigma before Recovery training.
Ann-- I spot that every act of self control leads to a measure
of self-respect, and Pearl did a good piece of work in controlling
her muscles to stay seated.
Bob-- Right, this is an especially good technique when it needs to be kept simple; control the muscles and spot that there is no danger.
Don-- I spot danger to the social personality when Pearl
saw the couple and was afraid of what they might think because she
had been ill.
Carol-- Pearl is really doing a good job of handling her
own stigma by saying to herself that she did not have to be ashamed
because she is not responsible for getting ill.
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