Mark's Example
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| At work, we celebrate birthdays with birthday cakes. We gather around, and people know I don't eat much of that stuff. One time, when a friend said, "Mark, I want you to eat the whole piece," I began to work myself up. My symptoms were tenseness and flushing in the face. I had the impulse to leave, and my throat got tight. I also had a feeling of dread. My racing thoughts were: "Why don't they leave me alone? I'm weird. What's wrong with me?" I spotted the startle and that eating sweets and being social is a strong link with me. I spotted the threat to my social personality and my undesirable exceptionality—that I'm the worst. I had angry temper at my coworker, but I excused rather than accused. I spotted that people do things that annoy us, not to annoy us. Doing the thing I feared, I ate a piece of cake. I did what an average person would do in that situation. My fearful temper was in the form of self-pity and self-importance. I thought everyone at the celebration was watching me. I spotted that I'm average, not wrong. Before my Recovery training, I would avoid these situations by isolating myself, and if someone singled me out, I would interpret it as evidence that I was no good and that I would always be that way. Further Spotting! Lee— The only way our outer environment can get to our inner environment is over the bridge of temper. By practicing Recovery, Mark neutralized his temper and didn't continue to work himself up. He also didn’t create a vicious cycle of temper, tenseness and symptoms. Alice— Mark should endorse himself. It required a lot of effort and courage for him to stay put and do that nice bit of spotting. He didn't mention endorsement, which is so vital to the Recovery method.
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