Joan's Example
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I love to travel, but I hate to pack. No matter how hard I try I inevitably take too much. I've been working on breaking this habit for a while. I've had some success. This event happened this weekend while I was packing to visit our son and his wife. We were flying and were going to be away only a few days. As I was looking at my stack of magazines and books I'd yet to read, and trying to decide which to take, I began to work myself up. I felt confusion, head pressure, disbelief at the number of items yet to read, and jealousy as I watched my husband easily select two or three magazines from the table and move on to do something else. I began to spot that I could be average too. I would just choose three books and three magazines and walk out of the room. Since I'd intended sometime to read them all, it really didn't matter which I took. I walked away after making the selections. Before Recovery and even since Recovery, I anguished over making the RIGHT choices as well as making CHOICES. I wanted to be prepared for everything that I could possibly need or want while I was away and I wanted it to be perfect. I would work myself up into frenzies over so very many things. I would also blame myself when I arrived at my destination if I didn't have EXACTLY what I thought was correct. I was neither flexible nor spontaneous and ALWAYS acted in extremes. I did endorse for my efforts and I did read and I did enjoy! Further Spotting! David-- Before our Recovery training, every event is a major issue. Joan now spots that this is a triviality, and there is no right or wrong in this situation. Laurie-- Joan has learned to have the courage to make a mistake. She does not have to be perfect. Sandy-- Joan is no longer symptom-led, but self-led. What does that mean? average-- Joan could simply select several magazines, without making an issue or emergency about selecting magazines and books. This would be the "average" way to approach this situation.
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