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I saw this big piece of chocolate cake in the store and I really wanted to eat it, but I had already eaten my meal. Since I'm recovering from an eating disorder, I don't eat in between my three meals. I wanted the cake and began to work myself up.
I had racing thoughts..."I have to have that cake now" ...my imagination was on fire..."oh my God, I'm going to die if I don't have that piece of cake, I need to leave my friends and go and have that cake now. That cake is calling my name...". I felt my heart pound and the energy began to rise inside of me. I feared the permanent handicap (I'll always be this way)--I'll have the cake and then I'll have 10 others.
I spotted that every act of self control leads to self respect. I didn't have the piece of cake and then consequently the whole cake and felt good that I didn't because I would've binged. I spotted it's distressing but not dangerous -- I can have it in my future. I had the will to bear discomfort. I changed my thoughts and controlled my muscles--I didn't have the cake and I thought of something else.
Before my Recovery training, I would have had that piece of cake and probably 20 more. I would've left my friends and binged for the next 5 days, not doing my work or anything. I would have been very depressed and stopped my life just to eat and hide out and feel terribly ashamed and isolated, fat and lonely. I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from having the cake.
Further Spotting!
Lee -- Barbara's imagination was on fire when she said, "I'll have the cake and then I'll have 10 others." She spotted her fearful temper and dropped it.
Diane -- Barbara should endorse herself for controlling
her muscles and not eating the cake.
Anne -- I liked how Barbara
spotted about her self control can lead to self respect. It's hard when
we are under the tyranny of our symptoms to take control of our thoughts
and impulses, but it is possible with practice.
Pat -- I agree,
and as Diane said, she really needs to remember to endorse herself, so
that self approval will slowly start to build.
What does that mean?
Distressing but not dangerous --In this example, Barbara had a fearful reaction to seeing the cake and her experience was distressing. By dropping the idea of danger she was able to avoid making it into an emergency, which might have felt like it was out of her control.
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