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After overeating the night before, I woke up in lowered feelings and I
thought about what I had eaten the night before and I began to work myself
up. My symptoms were bloating in my stomach, my skin felt stretched and
I had nervous fatigue and lack of spontaneity. My thoughts were, "I can't
face the day. I'm losing control and I'm going to get so depressed that
I'll just quit functioning".
I spotted that I was sabotaging and I had temper at the illness. I spotted
that the eating was a symptom and that I was attaching danger to the situation.
I had imagination on fire that I was out of control. I spotted that I could
take the day in part acts and face, tolerate and endure the symptoms. I
spotted that I could control my impulses, that there are no irresistible
impulses, just impulses that are not resisted. I spotted that every act
of self control leads to greater self respect. I also spotted that I needed
to excuse rather than accuse myself and that it was a try, fail, try, succeed
method. I spotted my fearful temper in the form of self pity and self blame,
I'm not wrong, I'm average. I spotted that instead of coddling my feelings
and pampering my thoughts, I needed to move my muscles and change my thoughts.
Before Recovery, I would check myself into a crisis house or go on an eating binge for 3 weeks straight and I would stop functioning and isolate myself.
Further Spotting!
Ann--Amy's temper at the illness is such a common thing
to have, but it is something that if sustained it will create tenseness,
and if the tenseness is sustained then there there will be more
symptoms. Getting rid of temper is a big part of our Recovery practice,
and Amy did a good job of spotting it.
Joe--I like the way that Amy spotted her sabotaging. That's sometimes
hard to do, but what she did was to see how she was sabotaging her mental
health by working herself up.
Lee--I spot that Amy's mental health is her supreme goal and
is a value to her.
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