Pat's Example
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One of the larger department stores was having a big sale. Discounts were very good and the early bird specials were even better. I was there for those and was really buying up a lot of tremendous bargains. I was thrilled to find so many. It wasn't until I was home that I realized I had gotten carried away and bought way more than I needed. I felt surprised at how much I had purchased. I had anxious feelings. My stomach felt knotted up. I didn't want to tally up the total purchases, yet I did want to know how much I'd saved. My impulse was to take everything back and blame myself for being a bad person. I began to pace up and down the bedroom floor. I felt miserable. At that point I began to spot that I could become a realist rather than a romanticist over this situation. I could drop the self-blame and excuse myself for the shopping spree. I could look again at each item and decide if it was a need or a want in my wardrobe/household. I could endorse for my effort to shop the sale and drop the blame. I could fortunately return any or even all of the items since I had tags on the merchandise, had worn none of it and had my sales slips. I could have the courage to make a mistake and return items. Before Recovery, Inc., I would have either kept everything and gone back in the afternoon to do more shopping or I would have worked myself up into such a frenzy that I returned everything. I would not have wanted to think about wants versus needs nor would I have wanted to methodically evaluate my purchases. I did not know that I could change my impulses and my thoughts even though I couldn't change my feelings and sensations. I would not have excused myself either, but just continued to blame myself for once again being out of control. Everything I did and felt was extreme. Further Spotting! George-- Pat seemed to spot that this was a triviality. Susan-- Pat at first was taking a subjective view of herself based on her fearful temper. She then began to spot and became objective, excused herself and recognized she could return items if necessary. Mary -- I liked the way Pat brought out the averageness of the situation, by spotting that she could have the courage to make a mistake. What does that mean? romanticist-- In Recovery language, if Pat would have continued to indulge her anxious feelings and thoughts of self-blame, she would be a romanticist. This is not as easy a concept as some but can be better understood if you study Mental Health Through Will Training. Go to the Articles and Literature page to order.
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