Margie's Example
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This example happened the other day at home. Before I even got up I started to think, "what the use, I just can't face this day". I rolled over and literally pulled the covers over my head. As I laid there I began to work myself up. My whole body felt as though it had been drained of energy. I felt like crying and wondered if I would ever get through these feelings I have, which scared me. I also started to feel sick to my stomach as I thought about staying in bed, and what would my family and classmates say. I just felt guilty and ashamed. I did begin to do a little spotting though I guess I have a way to go yet. I spotted that helplessness is not hopelessness. I started to think about the Recovery examples I have heard and I knew others who have been through this and have done well. I also reminded myself that there was no emergency here. I then moved my muscles to get up and I washed my face, but then I went back to bed for the rest of the morning, so I guess I didn't practice much. I did finally get up in the afternoon. Before Recovery, I would have started to cry uncontrollably and would have not come out of my room all day, maybe even for days. I was sure I would never smile again and figured that I was hopeless. I probably would scare my mom because of the way I was isolating myself. Further Spotting! Bill-- Margie has a lot to endorse for and instead I think she is blaming herself for not practicing more! In fact, she did not mention anything about endorsing herself, and that is so important in practicing the Recovery method. Tracy-- I agree, just the fact that she was able to stop and spot that she wasn't hopeless is terrific since she was in the middle of her symptoms. That's replacing an insecure thought with a secure thought. John-- There is a lot of fearful temper in this example, and Margie needs to remember that to get rid of the fearful temper she needs to get rid of her self blame--the judgment that she is wrong. She can remind herself that she is not wrong for having these symptoms, and she isn't wrong for being ill. This is hard to work on and every little bit of effort needs our self endorsement! Kay-- I spot the initial improvement. Margie may not feel it yet, but if she thinks about how she would have been before Recovery, she can see that she is beginning to make some improvement. What does that mean? spotted-- Margie was able to "look" at her situation and "spot" that her feelings may make her feel helpless but that doesn't mean she is hopeless. endorse-- Margie had to put forth effort in this example and in Recovery we endorse for effort not necessarily for success. She could give herself credit (endorse herself) even for making the mental effort of changing her thoughts or her attitude! fearful temper-- In Recovery, this is about the judgment of being wrong as it is applied in our routine life. Just as Margie felt in this example, some of the expressions fearful temper takes is in feeling shame, guilt, self disgust, etc. Learning to rid ourselves of this fearful temper takes a lot of Recovery practice.
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