Edie's Example
|
|
|
Yesterday in mid-afternoon I sat down for a group therapy lesson with the residents and staff member of New Attitudes, an eating disorders recovery home. I looked down at my legs and noticed that my thighs were spreading on the chair. I began to work myself up. Before long I had tightness in my head and stomach along with racing thoughts, lowered feelings, and imagination on fire. I thought, "My legs are huge...they will see how gross they are and reject me.., I need to hide...I'll never look good...I hate my legs...I'm not OK...I need to diet and exercise until I have no fat on my legs, etc." Suddenly it came to me that I was taking in insecure thoughts, rather than secure thoughts. I spotted that some secure thoughts I could take to replace the insecure thoughts were..."My worth and value are not up for debate...I have an average body size...I am loved and accepted...etc.". I also spotted fearful temper in that I feared danger to my social personality. I spotted self indictment and exceptionality in that I wanted "perfect" legs and feared mine were not even average. I needed to lower my standards. I spotted that expectations (of perfection in my physique) lead to disappointments. I also realized that the will to bear discomfort would lead to greater comfort. I endorsed myself for being group minded and staying seated for the duration of group. I spotted angry temper with myself for getting worked up so easily and with my legs for being less than perfect. I spotted that it was average for my thighs to spread when I sit down and that this was a triviality. Before Recovery training I would have indicted myself all during the group. I would have remained silent and possibly left the group to exercise or binge, continuing the vicious cycle. I would have isolated myself, fed the lowered feelings, and spiraled down into suicidal and other self destructive thinking patterns/behaviors. Further Spotting! Lee -- Edie endorsed herself for being group minded and staying seated. When we are in symptoms that takes effort and it's important to endorse for the effort we make, no matter how seemingly small it is. Ann -- When Edie says that the will to bear discomfort will lead to greater comfort she may mean that by practicing the will to bear discomfort, the tenseness and discomfort will pass. We then gain a sense of self-leadership and self respect which often gives us mental comfort and physical comfort. Ron -- Edie said she had angry temper with herself for getting worked up so easily, and I would spot what she was having was fearful temper, which is the judgment that "I am wrong". I think Dr. Low called it the wrong-fearing temperament. I spot that Edie is not wrong, she is average. What does that mean? fearful temper -- Edie in some way felt "wrong" or less than". She was making a judgment about herself that put her down. danger to the social personality -- When Edie made an interpretation about what other people were thinking of her (that she was ugly or fat) she experienced the discomfort as a result of that interpretation and conclusion. endorsed -- When Edie endorses herself she is not only giving herself credit or a mental pat on the back, but she is also building her morale and self-leadership since it is "self endorsement". She is not looking to others for approval then but to herself.
|
|
