Dave's Example
|
|
|
This event took place last week during a trip to the bank for meal and gas money. The bank teller handed me back my withdrawal slip saying, "you forgot to sign it." That's when I began to work myself up. I felt offended and stigmatized. Did the other customers see that I, with two years of college, didn't complete my form? Did they see that what was simple for most people, was something I couldn't handle? Did they see me scowl and fidget with embarrassment? Maybe I should just leave and come back. I felt I should go to another branch of the bank where I would not be recognized. I felt awful, with an indicted character, about a trifle. It was no triviality to me. It was another example of failure. Finally after what felt like ten minutes, I began to spot. Why did I jump into fearful retreating temper? I was OK. I could eat, and talk, and walk. People make simple mistakes every hour, every day. I told myself, "Look at yourself in a mirror. Your pants, shirt, shoes and belt are fully acceptable. As an average man, you cleaned your teeth, shaved, and combed your hair. You are an average person. Before Recovery, I was years in the hospital suffering from fear and in a despondent mood. I was never able to be self-led. My symptoms would lead me around like a bull with a ring in his nose. Further Spotting! Dan -- Dave spotted his fearful temper, but it sounds like he's blaming himself for having it; in other words, he's having fearful temper for having fearful temper! That is what we call sabotage. We're sabotaging our mental health and Dave can drop that fearful temper by spotting that he is not wrong for making a mistake or having the temperamental reaction that he had. Tonya -- Right, he mentioned that he is average, and that means that it is average for anyone to make a mistake or forget to sign something, so he isn't wrong, he's average. Bob -- I spot this is a triviality. Dave might not have felt like it at the time, but by spotting that he was doing OK, he started to get objective and take the event towards being a triviality instead of an emergency. Eli -- Dave should endorse himself all of the way. He did not let the symptoms lead him this time "like a bull with a ring in his nose"--what a good description! Practicing self-leadership takes time and patience and of course practice, and more practice, but it's worth it! What does that mean? triviality -- In Recovery, we only discuss trivialities, though Dave said this was no triviality to him he was able to become more objective and take the emergency out of this event. Trivialities are usually the day to day events that we are faced with and so often are what we are reacting to. We try to break each temperamental reaction down to dealing with it in one event at a time.
|
|
