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At work we celebrate birthdays with birthday cakes. We gather all around
and people know I don't eat much of that stuff. One time, Dora said Ann,
"I want you to eat the whole piece", and I began to work myself up.
My symptoms were tenseness, red flushing in the face, the impulse to
leave, and my throat got tight. My thoughts were, " why don't they leave
me alone, I'm weird, what's wrong with me". I had a feeling of dread.
I spotted the startle and that this was a strong link with me; eating
sweets and being social. I spotted the danger to my social personality
and the undesirable exceptionality, that I'm the worst. I had angry temper
at my co-worker, so I excused rather than accused. I spotted that people
do things that annoy us, not to annoy us. I did the thing I feared to do
and I ate a piece of cake. I did what the average person in that situation
would do. My fearful temper was in the form of self pity and self importance,
thinking they were all watching me. I spotted t hat I'm not wrong, I'm
average.
Before Recovery, I would avoid these situations by isolating myself
and if I was highlighted, I would see it as more evidence that I was no
good and I would always be this way. I came to Recovery, Inc. meetings
through the New Attitudes treatment home for eating disorders.
Further Spotting!
Lee--The only way that our outer environment can get to our inner
environment is over the bridge of temper. By dropping the temper, and practicing
Recovery, Ann was able to neutralize her temper and so did not have to
continue to work it up and create a vicious cycle of temper, tenseness
and symptoms.
Alice--Ann should endorse herself. That took a lot of effort
and courage for her to stay put and do that nice bit of spotting. She didn't
mention endorsement which is so vital to the Recovery method.
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