Fran's Example

I was angry at my husband that we'd traded the old car in even though I had a part in the decision making process. I was angry at myself for helping to make the decision. I was angry at the old car for getting old. I had a flushed face, my hands were trembling and I wanted to cry. I also wanted to lash out at my husband. 

Instead, I decided to excuse my husband, myself and both the old car and the new car. I decided that in time with practice I would learn to adjust to the new car we'd purchased. Life is a business to be toiled at and attended to and I changed my thoughts by giving thanks that I was able to drive and that we had funds to replace a car. 

Before Recovery, I wanted the perfect car, with all the bells and whistles that cars could have. I'd have insisted that it be a particular brand and model. I would have really pursued getting our old car back. I would have complained and complained and complained. I would not have been able to patiently decide to give the car and me a chance to get used to each other. What brought me into Recovery was a diagnosis of bi-polar disorder. 

Ann -- Fran felt she had made a mistake, and began to have fearful temper against herself, she then spotted her temper and excused herself instead of accusing herself. 

Frank -- Fran could endorse herself for the effort at spotting which she made.