Further Spotting
What does that mean?
Next Example!
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Anna's Example
Our parish will be running an Ethnic Dinner and I responded to a request
in the church bulletin for an ethnic dish (enough for 15-20 persons). I
received a call from the chairperson asking if I would coordinate the Italian
part of it and was invited to attend a meeting the next evening. Being
new in the area and the parish, I said I wasn't sure of what might be expected,
but I would attend the meeting and then make up my mind. While at the meeting,
I saw my name printed as coordinator of the Italian section. They still
seemed quite disorganized and in speaking to an acquaintance, she said
that I had been the first to volunteer at all. This is when I began to
work myself up.
I felt angry at the chairperson for assuming I'd take responsibility, and
at the whole parish of 3,000 families for not having others respond sooner.
I thought about what a big job this was for me and I was going to look
"bad". Why did I volunteer so quickly?
I spotted that I could feel proud of myself and
endorse myself for all my effort and for being group
minded. I spotted that my imagination was on fire, but that I could do
a good average job. I had to drop judgments and develop the inner smile
and look forward to meeting new fellow parishioners.
Before Recovery, I was so competitive that I felt that I had to outshine
everyone there and attempt a professional looking production. My family
and I would have paid too high a price with symptoms of sleeplessness,
lack of concentration, restlessness, and irritability at my family for
requiring any of my attention at such a time. I would not have sincerely
appreciated the collaboration of the other participants and perhaps even
harbored critical thoughts towards their efforts. Total view: I've come
a long way!
Further Spotting!
John --I spot that Anna had angry temper at
the chairperson and the parish. Since this was a triviality, she can spot
that they are not wrong, they're average.
Bob --I think she also had some fearful temper
when she became afraid of looking bad and it sounded like she blamed herself
for responding so quickly.
Sue -- I think in Mental Health Through Will Training, Dr. Low
talks about how sustained temper produces sustained tension and the sustained
tension produces symptoms. By spotting her temper, Anna got rid of that
sustained tension.
Dell --It does sound like a lot of past practice here.
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What does that mean?
spotted -- Anna recognized or spotlighted
that she could feel proud of herself and so she was rejecting the thought
of self blame.
endorse -- Anna gave herself a mental pat
on the back for her effort.
angry temper --is the judgment that someone
is wrong; Anna may have felt the chairperson was "wrong" for putting her
on the spot. There is no right or wrong in trivialities. If we remove or
set aside the right/wrong judgment, our temper lessens and symptoms lessen.
fearful temper --is the judgment that oneself
is wrong and often appears in the form of self-disgust, self-pity, etc.
In Anna's example if she was blaming herself, then she was having fearful
temper. There is no right or wrong in trivialities, only differences of
opinion and style.
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